A part of me that I left behind….

You know, as we grow up, a lot of things change. I remember when I was about 6 years old, I was playing ‘hide and seek’ with my friends and it was right after it had rained and the weather was just adorable. One of my friend’s sister was sitting out and studying, and I was wondering how anyone could not feel like running around in this weather. I told myself that I would never stop playing this game even if I turned 50. It all flew back into my memory when yesterday, right after it had drizzled, I saw a few girls playing hide and seek, while I was sitting in my balcony and completing my assignment (well, it was the last day and I had to submit it in college). And I thought to myself how I let go of that innocence and joy without even realising it. How my priorities changed from finding the best place to hide and managing to not be the first to be seen, to finding the best place to hide and sleep (or text) in class and managing to not be the first to be seen.

From loving to draw in MS Paint to never opening it again, from being embarrassed on not doing homework to getting used to it. From silly small fights and talking to each other again the next minute to silly small fights and never talking again (yes, I did that too), from asking your friends to not talk to this one person you dislike to asking your friends to stalk them on Facebook, from watching cartoons to.. uhh.. nope. I’m not going to say ‘not’ watching cartoons, because I can never give that up. Hopefully.

It’s weird, how we all grow up and start to find all those things silly. Instead, we find joy in social networking, watching movies, sitcoms (oh, I love it!) and other stuff. I’m only 18, and I guess it’s too soon for me to contemplate about the lost days; I mean I hardly know anything about the world! But what I know is, that those days will never come back, no matter how bad you want them to. I remember I was really excited about turning 18, somehow I believed that the world would look differently in just one day. I could vote (though the elections aren’t on until next 4 years), drive, and have sex. And when I tuned 18, WAIT WHAT?! Nothing happened! The same old life, except I was older. Why I was so excited about it, I will never know.

Everytging changes with time. Truely said, chabge is the only constant thing in this dynamic world. Your interests, your priorities, it all changes. You know, when you are doing something you love, you get that feeling that’s pretty hard to describe. Maybe we have to, at times, even let go of that feeling.

I’m sure each and every person on this planet has given up something to get something else. Better or not, I don’t know. And I bet we start regretting it soon. I guess we do it thinking that it’s all a part of growing up and being mature. But what really is being mature?

This question mark will always remain in my mind; can you actually ‘unlove’ something that you loved so much? Can you, in any way, compensate for that lost part of yours? I’m searching for an answer too…