Prism of Horror

Hearing her own breath,

In this little room of darkness

The walls reflecting her own fear,

Terror rushing through,

forming a whole prism of horror.

In this hushed room-

Solitude that is unwanted,

Silence that is unknown,

Shelter that is perilous.

Open eyes, hurting to be closed

And a beating heart that ceases to slow..

Should she fight, flight or freeze?

Desperate for aid, apprehension taking over her faith

Can’t take the risk, can’t let go.

No question of Love,

Or any sort of belongingness.

For there isn’t a soul around,

Only the cold walls, seeking to provide comfort?

Bursting with fear, the petite figure scans the room

To find a reckless opening

A mere ray of hope.

Trying to differentiate day from night,

Trying to think of the joyful reminiscences,

and failing in a miserable manner..

For that only brings the ghostly tears

Of exhaustion and starvation.

How long will it be before she gives up?

Gives in to the terrible fate,

And into the cruel hands of the unknown?

Who decides, what is courageous, brave, heroic?

For in this state, it is a mere fight

Between deception and myth,

Between chicanery and delusions,

Between uncertainty and misjudgement.

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The Questions That Keep Us Going

I think everyone would agree on the fact that one of the most fascinating things about homo sapiens is their ability to be skeptical- ask questions without directly accepting anything that comes by. We ask so many questions- in class, at home, maybe something catches our eye and we end up Googling it.. Just notice for yourself- doesn’t every other incident or a situation rise a lot of questions? And most that you cannot answer?

“We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” -Walt Disney

I think its a good thing- not knowing the answers. Because then that will lead you to search and explore. And in turn, this exploration will produce another set of questions. In fact, life would be so boring if we just ‘knew it all’!

“When people don’t have any curiosity about themselves, that is always a bad sign.” -Irvin D. Yalom

But the real question is, is the current education system equipped enough to cater to such kind of curiosity? Is a structured, confined and limited syllabus good enough for young minds that question the limitations of every subject area possible?

This system, that mainly tests the memory of an individual, leaves out other numerous aspects and judges their capability based on their ability to recollect ideas learnt from text books and the way they are produced on paper.

“It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.” -Albert Einstein

Development and progress will only happen if current systems are questioned. Because in the end, it is these questions that keep us going.

Embellish Yourself

It might seem too much at once
For too fast do things now go
To wait, oh why wait?
For we’ve delayed enough

It’s a question, something to wonder about
Wait for the right time,
Or make the time right?
Seems to be at all times, a huge dilemma

Learning with experience
Or the mould that shapes you
Go ahead, make mistakes
And do it all over again

Go with the flow,
Let your thoughts guide you
Intuition being the master
And reality your leader

Responsibilities, worries, will keep pouring in
Live the present, forget the past
And you will see, my friend,
Future will embellish itself.

Randomness #2

How easy really, is it, to get tired of life?

Difficult question to ask?

Actually, it’s pretty darn easy. Just try to remember the number of times you would have said ‘my life sucks’, or ‘why is my life like this’ or all related sentences till this point in your life. Or every time you’ve frowned at the thought of it.

I myself do it all the time. And then I think all deeply about how I should do something meaningful in life, continue all my hobbies, spend time with people, etcetera, etcetera.

But then, something comes up and I’m all busy again.

Well, I think, it’s actually pretty easy to find meaning in life.

You really don’t have to do it at all! Just let it go, think of the most random things in this world, distract yourself, and you’ll finally get to it somehow!
I haven’t had any sort of experience that made me appreciate life, no such insightful discussions with someone, near death experiences, or people’s lives that inspired me that much… Well, not yet.

However, just small walks on the terrace of my apartment early in the morning are enough to remind me of the complexity of this world, of how simple it is that makes it so complex in itself.

But, when you think about it, how can anything be simple to a level that makes it so complex? And yet, here we are, living in this bundle of simply complex world, whose horizons are knowingly unknown to us.

We look for answers everywhere- we want to know everything in such a small span of time. We want to know how, why, when, and where everything happens. And in this hurry of answering all these complex questions, we forget to look straight and appreciate this mysteriously beautiful place that has now become home to us.

It’s very difficult to wake myself up early in the morning every Sunday. But when I do, I don’t regret it one bit. Just one walk on the terrace, and there is this whole new refreshing wind running through my hair. There’s all these birds flying in the sky, squirrels running around, carrying nuts, or pigeons pecking at the small grains kept on the terrace by someone. And how they instantly fly with your one move. I always end up giggling at that.
How innocent and cheerful everything looks, sounds, and feels.

And to think that the next day I’ll have to get up earlier, go to ‘learn’ and ‘educate’ myself, and do things completely opposite of this just makes me get all cranky.

Why can’t we learn by exploring the world? Why isn’t reflection and articulation and appreciation a part of our curriculum?

What kind of knowledge is this, anyway?

Well, life really sucks, doesn’t it?

487 WORDS OF RANDOMNESS

I’m sitting in my room trying to write something but all that comes in my mind is… nothing. I’m trying to think of something to write but the situation makes it hard for me to get over the weirdness surrounded by me. It is really hard to concentrate on something else when your mind is preoccupied with weird random thoughts. Well, I wouldn’t call it random but it’s definitely weird. I don’t remember the last time I felt like this. I’m listening to Carnival of Rust by Poets of the Fall, and the lyrics seem to make a lot more sense now. It has been raining almost every day in Bangalore now and I wonder if I’ll get drenched tomorrow while coming back from college. I can’t tell you how much I hate it. I used to love getting drenched in rain. But now somehow, it sucks.
I’m sitting in my balcony and while I write this, there is a cat running around near my apartment’s swimming pool. I want to go play with it, but I feel too lazy to move. It’s such a dull day today. The song has now changed to All Fall Down by One Republic. Beautiful lyrics. I always wonder how they come up with such ideas, such great sound. I believe music is the greatest creation ever made. If it’s made or discovered, can again be debated. I’m sure there won’t be a single individual who doesn’t find music fascinating. It makes everything seem so beautiful. The rhythm, the voice, it’s so soothing.
The song changes to Heal the World by Michael Jackson and I just realize I’ve written 270 words of randomness. I guess its fine once in a while. It’s your randomness that tells you how far you can introspect and contemplate about things around you, how far you can get lost in your own thoughts. It’s difficult, with these busy lives, we have time for everyone and everything but for ourselves. We never realize, that with other people, it’s important to also give ourselves some of our attention. It’s important to flatter ourselves, to please ourselves, to love ourselves. It’s important to feel good about ourselves.
Honestly, I’ve written 3 paragraphs of complete random crap, and I don’t know why you are reading this. I don’t know why I’m still writing. Maybe everyone goes through this phase some time or the other. You just feel like there’s nothing in this world that concerns you anymore, and that you have all the time in the world and nothing to worry about. I don’t know if that’s good or bad. But I know that when I wake up tomorrow the reality will hit me hard and I’ll again know that I’ve too many things to do but too little time. Ah normal life!
Dark clouds are approaching and I think it’s going to rain. I’ll probably further wonder about something random.

Why do we Google everything?

Today, like every other Sunday, when I sat down to write something for my blog I realized I had nothing in mind. Usually over the week I find something interesting that I want to write about, but this time I couldn’t think of anything. Immediately I thought of taking my phone and searching (or Google) something interesting that I could write about. That itself really amazed me; how we are so dependent on technology and the internet for all our answers and it just drives away our curiosity. Being a student, I usually tend to write down things that I don’t understand so that I can Google it when I get home. The whole process of going through a bunch of books (or even asking the teacher after class) sounds like too much work.

While it has become very easy and beneficial for us to get answer to anything we want and anywhere we want, it’s also killing the curiosity that we are all born with- to keep questioning anything and everything that happens around us. The British author, Ian Leslie, in his book Curious: The Desire to Know and Why Your Future Depends on It, cites a study that found that children between the ages of three and five ask about 40,000 questions and when they start schooling, the number reduces significantly. He theorizes that it could be because learning is hard work and it requires focus and discipline. (Lavine, 2014)

What annoys me the most is that there are all kinds of spoilers on the internet. While I stay away from the internet as much as possible while I’m reading a novel or waiting for a TV series to release, many of my friends just can’t resist the urge. And the worst thing- they end up spoiling it for me too!

But seriously, why can’t we be patient and give sometime for the curiosity to grow? Maybe it’s because we are lazy (so lazy that we don’t even want to think and get an answer from our memory) or maybe because we know that there are answers to everything online and all we have to do is get hold of an internet enabled device. What we don’t realize is that we are missing out on the whole process of getting from one question to another, while giving rise to another 10 unrelated questions. We have one question, we Google it, and it ends there.

Studies done by neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp and psychologist Kent Berridge have both concluded that our strongest impulse – even more so than experiencing pleasure itself – is the one that makes us search and explore. However wonderful this might sound, it’s not an easy thing to do. Imagine how the world would be if curiosity wasn’t there in the human species. We wouldn’t have known why things fall downwards and not the other way round, we wouldn’t know why we fall sick, we wouldn’t even have electricity, nor would we have any of the technology we use now (Good Lord!).

Not that we have become complete lazy beings, there are new inventions on a daily basis. With time, curiosity has taken different forms and continues to somehow exist. As Albert Einstein said, “The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.”